Make you feel my love

09/01/2018

I stood on a rooftop one early morning with leftover thoughts from the day before. I had planned to meet a friend there and I took advantage of her delay to enjoy my surroundings and truly immerse myself in God's creation. My mind was clear but I felt uneasy. There was something in my "gut" that needed addressing—something in my spirit. I was not aware of its source but I determined to cast such anxieties and worries unto Christ-like He had commanded us to. So, I prayed.

I inhaled the cool air. Alertness settled and I became aware of the vastness around me and my place in all of God's creation—in all of space and time! The leaves rustled as they picked up a breeze. My ears picked up the now pronounced sound of chirping birds. I then turned my attention to the city. I observed the slow disintegration of a mist. Sunlight burst through the cool, and its glorious rays stroked my skin. Oh, what a moment it was! God's creation was awakening in splendor! I exhaled and smiled at the peace and beauty of the very things I took for granted daily. It was peaceful and yet I could sense that my heart needed reexamining.

My friend arrived shortly after. We greeted one another and shared with each other how we were feeling. Out of the abundance of what weighed on my heart, I began speaking and soon discovered what the issue was.

The truth is that I have prayed a long time that Christ will reveal His heart to me. Finally, my prayer was answered and I realized that I was not ready! Christ has revealed to me that His heart is for people—that they will come to know Him and the peace He offers. I was not ready for what that required of me: understanding love and what it means to truly love others. Shocking...I know right?!

In the past few days, I've been wearied by the social interactions I've had and the situations I've been in. During these times, I felt that I needed the space and time away from such gatherings to process all I was absorbing. I complained about the shortcomings of others while failing to see my own. I was irritated mostly by the situations I was placed in and failed to show grace to all involved. I blamed my introverted disposition and highlighted my need for solitude to recharge. While true, and totally valid, it was not my disposition that was to be blamed but rather my selfish mindset. "If only they understood me and my temperament…" I thought, and yet I was not seeking to understand anyone!

Naturally, my friend and I read 1 Corinthians 13 for an understanding of the ultimate and perfect description of love. I was reminded that love is active and should prevail in every situation whether large or trivial. As faithful and kind as I think I am, I realized that without love—without the motivation for the good of others in every situation regardless of their propensities and mine—I am nothing! At that moment, in a startling realization, I exclaimed the truth that had been pressing on my heart: "I have not been loving others!"

People often proclaim love but do not understand what it really means and what it entails. I thought to myself, "I really need to endure and be patient with others!" I absorbed the words and asked God to write them on my heart. My friend and I ended with a prayer. Yet, even as I left with a clear picture of love, my mind pondered over what it looks like in different situations as if it is conditional. But love is unconditional. As the word of action it is, I resolved to express it even in the most trivial and irritating of situations.

I woke up the next day to find out that the verse for the day was from 1 Corinthians 13! It was certainly by no coincidence that I encountered that! For me, it was a reaffirmation of what I had learned the day before. The verse read: "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity [sin] but rejoices in the truth;”—I Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-6.

I smiled and thanked God for His sovereignty and His love and mercy for us that are renewed daily! I thanked Him for His presence in my life—in the large and small moments! I thanked Him for loving me, and I resolved to let others feel that love through me!