God hates double standards far more than you think you do. In fact, His standard is Holiness, without which no one will see Him. To His standard, we have been called.
"Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” - 1 Peter 1:13-16
What I've learned about biblical modesty
It isn't about buying more or acquiring possessions...
It is about being meek, humble, and lowly like our Savior Jesus Christ
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29
Modesty is for both men and women of God.
I discuss here specifically as it pertains to women.
As we grow in our walk, we learn by the help of the Holy Spirit to embrace His will for our lives. We ditch excess and extravagance, the trends, and worldly fashions for godliness inside and out. By minimizing the concerns of the external, we can concentrate on growing spiritually without the snare of beauty and fashion idols which only serve our carnal desires. Modesty pertains to good conduct and humility in Christ. As I'm growing in my walk with Christ, I've come to learn that the Lord cares for both the inside and out and I've fallen more in love with His way of life. Here's some inspiration for you and me!
"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands." 1 Peter 3:3-5
In fact, the focus is not at all on clothing but rather on focusing on the hidden person of the heart. The outward then should be a reflection of the inward...
Non-exhaustive examples as guidelines, not rules
*The images below are screenshots from a few clothing websites. They are solely for illustrative purposes.
COME OUT OF WORLDLINESS
"Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.” - 2 Corinthians 6:17
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2
"If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." John 15:19
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.” Titus 2:11-14
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world" 1 John 2:15-16
BRIEF NOTE
The following are to provide some introspection into our lives and to help us identify the habits and worldliness we partake of, even unconsciously. I've learned now to always weigh things by God's word and not what I think.
A conscious examination led me to realize how culture had subtly become the standard by which I measured my godliness--and so of course, I looked "Christian" as compared to the world because of some of the values I maintained! However, I was harming my Christian witness and adhering to the lie that my freedom was in being able to do as I pleased. I have instead learned to assess my godliness with God's word and how I am living in obedience to Him in all aspects of my life. Jesus Christ did not shed His precious blood for me to continue in a sinful or relativist lifestyle. He died so that I will be connected back to the Father through obedience to His objective truth and standards. You can read briefly here
One may view the following as "keeping rules" or "being strict" but this is true liberty in that we are no longer kept bondage to the lies and falsities that ensnare the world. Our liberty is not in conformity to this world but by a transformation through the renewal of our mind. God's commandments and His Holy Spirit bring about this transformation. Our obedience is not legalism but rather our reasonable service and worship.
Some questions I've considered...
CLOTHING/SHOES
*Is it tight and revealing?
*Is it short and provocative?
*Are you showing cleavage?
*Is it a bodycon?
*Is it extravagant?
*Is it past your knee?
*Even if it covers you, is it hugging you, or is it lose-fitting?
*Do your shoes promote a sexually seductive attitude?
*Are you aware of the cons of wearing high heels?
*Are you a slave to trends and the world's fashion?
*Can you be told apart from a non-believer?
*Is it proper for a woman professing godliness?
BEAUTY/MAKEUP
*Is it "concealing"/masking your God-given features/beauty?
*Is it "exaggerating" your God-given features/beauty?
*Is it hair attachments, whether synthetic or real (possibly sacrificed to a 'god')?
*Are your nails practically claws that inhibit the normal functioning of your hands?
*Can you be told apart from a non-believer?
*Is it proper for a woman professing godliness?
SPEECH
*Would you feel comfortable saying this in the presence of God?
*Is it profane/lewd?
*Is it idle/unnecessary?
*Can you be told apart from a non-believer?
*Is it proper for a woman professing godliness?
MUSIC/ENTERTAINMENT/BOOKS
*Is it profane/perverted? Does it glorify sin?
*If it is "gospel" music, is it aligned with sound doctrine (many are not, unfortunately).
*Does it manipulate your mood? I got rid of many playlists. No longer do I give room for such. Go straight to God.
*Is it a waste of time?
*Is it praiseworthy?
*Is it proper for a woman professing godliness?
"FRIENDS"/SOCIAL MEDIA
*Do they share the same values?
*Are you influencing them positively or are they influencing you negatively?
*Are you like-minded? Do they challenge you in the things of God?
*Are you applauding/promoting self?
*Are you a mindless consumer of social media platforms? This can really be a snare and requires mindfulness
*Are you engaging in unprofitable and useless ventures?
*Is it proper for a woman professing godliness?
I could go on with different categories but you must assess yourself with God's word and act in obedience. I'm not oblivious to how seemingly 'drastic' this is to an onlooker because again, I've had to assess myself too. I can offer clear examples of when I was previously engaged in such things in the past and lived unawares. I'll tell you what though, doing all of this without dealing with sin in the heart is as equally problematic. A changed heart and changed mind are key in obeying Christ. As you've repented and are living in obedience to God's way and His words, you'll find that there were/are so many areas where you took/take cues from the world. I now have to continue to not let anything or sin hinder my living for God's will. I'm clean! I'm free! I thank God for His Word and the Holy Spirit who leads into all truth for the truly repented!
"The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God." Luke 16:14-15